EQ
A lot of parents don’t want to burden their kids with unnecessary stress. However, if we don’t start showing them how to deal with unpleasant things as early as possible, we are hindering their emotional growth. For sure eventually these reactions will matter. Then when they get older, it will be too late for our kids to process stress efficiently.
prepare them
It’s my opinion not knowing how to deal with stress could cause depression. Afterall the onset of melancholia occurs when humans can’t accept the things that have happened to them. So, we can take pre-emptive action to prepare for stress. I know as a parent it’s hard for us emotionally when our children are under stress. However, if we help prepare them that life isn’t exactly what you want all the time, this will make them stronger.
What would I do?
- Be honest. Tell them the truth, even if it’s bad news.
- Do not compliment average work or behaviour.
- Set goals. Reward only when the child achieves it.
- Always stress there is room for improvement.
- Tell your child you believe in them.
- Monitor your child, that they put in the effort to achieve their goals
High Standards
I have a thick skin. As a child I did feel like my parents wanted so much from me. At times I was resentful but now I understand why. Everything that is a contest, a game, a competition, usually the person that wins it is the one that puts in the most amount of work*. Dealing with stress is an integral part of perseverance in achieving your goals.
what Immigrants do
Most of us first generation kids think our children can relax now. However, when we go into a more developed country situation, we become much more a lazy in our thinking and complacent. Often, we also think “not for our kids” mentality since now we have sort of “made it”. Now unless you are incredibly wealthy, and your children will not have to work then you can relax. Even if we made it to that point where we feel financially comfortable enough to have children, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they will just be successful.
Ready SET Go
Let’s start our game plan. Remember we as parents need to show them how capable and how strong their brain really is. It just takes adversity in little forms. That is how we show them so that in the future they can also deal with whatever comes at them. This is how we train our minds.
* Unless nepotism is involved but that’s a talk for another day.