elections are coming
I think the older I get, the more confident I get. Or perhaps I don’t care what people think anymore? I wish I knew now what I didn’t back then. A lot of my insecurity has to do with my childhood in America. I see the midterms. Both sides arguing, nothing changing, and triggered by the toxicity.
fresh off the boat?
Now I think I’ve spoken about before being a pseudo- immigrant. Now well not really, because my parents didn’t have to worry about jobs. We weren’t struggling either. However since both my parents had accents, looked different, so they were considered invisible. As such they were treated trite as “immigrants’.
American Snobs
Even when we arrived back to live in my father’s hometown in Connecticut, we were never really a part of American society. My dad actually graduated from the local high school, but people always asked where we from? Perhaps, I think we lived in a more middle America perhaps people would have been less snobby? So I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.
pride in low standards
What I ate for lunch. The way my mother dressed me nicely. How my gentleman father spoke so formally. All these were actually good things. Yet it made me grow a thick skin. I was constantly told that whatever I was doing was incorrect according to their standards. However according to the rest of the world often Americans standards are nothing to be proud of.
Don’t want to be noticed
I don’t want to sound mean, but I want people to seriously think outside of our own lives. As a person who has always been observing, my life in America was about survival to just not be noticed. I think sadly once you do shine most Americans are not happy. They want to keep you down, you can’t do better because for some reason it hurts their ego.
we are “ghetto”
As I now have lived outside of America for almost 10 years, I see my original complaint and how it is strongly affecting our society. First of all we are a BIG mess and no one wants to be like “us” anymore. I can’t say anything negative without being told I am the enemy. This is due to both sides of our society not being able to live with the truth. Then instead of trying to make a positive change we insist on hurting the people who passed on the message.
Fake as the kardashians
The amount of “Be Kind” messages I think is in direct contrast with people being fake. Also the freedom and let live attitudes do they exist in a society that is so inherently judgemental? I believe the toxicity is generations of our citizens being jealous rather than support the people who want to make a change for better in their life. America is the only country in the world where you can be teased for being smart in school.
A better place
Growing up most of my friends were minorities. I knew that although their backgrounds were different from mine, but we were still in the same boat. All of us tried our best not to get labelled as some negative stereotype. Many times that did not work, and those labels stuck not because of actual test scores but by what you looked like. One day I like to explain what I saw. I am hoping that this first post gives me a space to start organizing my thoughts to reflect on the what actually happened in America in my childhood.